Tag Archives: Brendaisms

“Oh, that Brenda!”

Everybody in our office thinks Brenda ought to have her own TV show called “Oh, that Brenda!”

If nothing else, she coins new words & makes interesting (to say the least) twists on old adages. We’re often left either laughing or scratching our heads (or both).

Here is a sampling:

Chester: chest of drawers, bureau.

Vending Machine: ventilator

Coronary transplant: cornea
transplant.

Dolla’ Sto’: dollar store

Credick: credit

Cock an attitude: cop an attitude

Pisstivity: ??? (we think it is a magnitude of pissed-offedness)

“Don’t be choicey/ beggars can’t be choicey.”

“He don’t know me from Adam’s crabapple.”

Cock a squat: cop a squat

“Don’t go climbing all over the mountain trying to build a molehill.”

“You look like the rat who ate the canary.”

Coppertone: carpal tunnel syndrome

Catherine: catheter

My bag: my bad

“Don’t pop your panties over it.”

Muffin/muffler: muff

Cartridge: cartilage

“Kings and queens is out the deck.” (think this means “a couple pineapples short of a fruit salad.)

“I got a hickey on my head.” (She had a bruise on her forehead. She thought that a welt is the same thing as a hickey and was tickled to death over the true meaning of the word)

Diddle-deeder: dildo

Brenda: “It’s called ‘tim-sham.'”
[blank looks on everyone’s faces]
Ralph: “Uh… Brenda, it’s called ‘flim-flam.'”

Brehfiss: breakfast

“I had some catfish in my pocket.”

Brenda’s 1st date advice: A peck on the cheek and “don’t pop your panties.”

Brenda’s 2nd date advice: same as the first.

“… And mama’s other sister died of cervix.” me: “what?” Brenda: “cervix.” me: “you mean cervical cancer?” Brenda: “yeah. That.”

(talking about my squeaky chair)
Brenda: “put some oil on it or stop moving!”
Me: “what?”
Brenda: “put some W2 on it!”
Me: “huh?”
Brenda: “W2!!”
Me: “Oh! You mean WD-40.”

Discumbobbled: discombobulated.

Beauregarded: flustered, discumbobbled.

Brenda just baffled everyone by saying she was going to “eat me some whiteys.”
She meant whitefish.

Cooking with grass: cooking with gas.

NeoSPOLIN: Neosporin

Magnets: maggots. (Seriously)

“Aunt Belle always said, ‘Shoot first, ask questions later. And she should know– she shot her husband three times. Three different times.'”

(to me) “What, you can’t talk & chew bubblegum at the same time?”

*New* 8/9/10

Talking about a woman she saw on John R: “I told Norreese: ‘Damn! That woman ugly! She look like one of them flying monkeys!'”

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