“Oh, that Brenda!”

Everybody in our office thinks Brenda ought to have her own TV show called “Oh, that Brenda!”

If nothing else, she coins new words & makes interesting (to say the least) twists on old adages. We’re often left either laughing or scratching our heads (or both).

Here is a sampling:

Chester: chest of drawers, bureau.

Vending Machine: ventilator

Coronary transplant: cornea
transplant.

Dolla’ Sto’: dollar store

Credick: credit

Cock an attitude: cop an attitude

Pisstivity: ??? (we think it is a magnitude of pissed-offedness)

“Don’t be choicey/ beggars can’t be choicey.”

“He don’t know me from Adam’s crabapple.”

Cock a squat: cop a squat

“Don’t go climbing all over the mountain trying to build a molehill.”

“You look like the rat who ate the canary.”

Coppertone: carpal tunnel syndrome

Catherine: catheter

My bag: my bad

“Don’t pop your panties over it.”

Muffin/muffler: muff

Cartridge: cartilage

“Kings and queens is out the deck.” (think this means “a couple pineapples short of a fruit salad.)

“I got a hickey on my head.” (She had a bruise on her forehead. She thought that a welt is the same thing as a hickey and was tickled to death over the true meaning of the word)

Diddle-deeder: dildo

Brenda: “It’s called ‘tim-sham.'”
[blank looks on everyone’s faces]
Ralph: “Uh… Brenda, it’s called ‘flim-flam.'”

Brehfiss: breakfast

“I had some catfish in my pocket.”

Brenda’s 1st date advice: A peck on the cheek and “don’t pop your panties.”

Brenda’s 2nd date advice: same as the first.

“… And mama’s other sister died of cervix.” me: “what?” Brenda: “cervix.” me: “you mean cervical cancer?” Brenda: “yeah. That.”

(talking about my squeaky chair)
Brenda: “put some oil on it or stop moving!”
Me: “what?”
Brenda: “put some W2 on it!”
Me: “huh?”
Brenda: “W2!!”
Me: “Oh! You mean WD-40.”

Discumbobbled: discombobulated.

Beauregarded: flustered, discumbobbled.

Brenda just baffled everyone by saying she was going to “eat me some whiteys.”
She meant whitefish.

Cooking with grass: cooking with gas.

NeoSPOLIN: Neosporin

Magnets: maggots. (Seriously)

“Aunt Belle always said, ‘Shoot first, ask questions later. And she should know– she shot her husband three times. Three different times.'”

(to me) “What, you can’t talk & chew bubblegum at the same time?”

*New* 8/9/10

Talking about a woman she saw on John R: “I told Norreese: ‘Damn! That woman ugly! She look like one of them flying monkeys!'”

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3 thoughts on ““Oh, that Brenda!”

  1. girl normal

    “Don’t pop your panties over it.” may be the awesomest thing I’ve heard all month. I’m totally going to incorperate that into my everyday conversations.

    Reply

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